My mother in laws dog attacked my 18 month old daughter. My husband and I asked her to cage the dog or put it away. She refused so we said we don't feel comfortable having our daughter near the dog so the inlaws could visit our daughter anywhere away from the dog. She then started a hate campaign on Facebook against my husband and I. She started harassing us at work so we contacted the police and had them advise her to stop. She retaliated by calling CAS and making a false claim. They came over and said we have a lovely home and a beautiful daughter. We have not talked to the inlays since. They have not seen my daughter since March 2013 the night the dig attacked my daughter.
I met my bf 2 years ago. We were set up on a blind date. I was 38, he was 47. After a short time, we fell in love and I moved in with him. At the time, his brother and SIL lived with him, but moved out a couple months later to their own apartment. We were alone for 6 months when his mother came back to live with him (when I met him, she was living with her daughter 3 hours north of us). I didn't fully understand their family situation at first, but his mother has (for the most part) always lived with my bf or her daughter. They are definitely a family that is very much involved in each others' business. Before she moved back in with him (and me), she came to visit to meet me. I was making dinner for everyone, and MIL comments "Well aren't you a little Suzy homemaker". I smiled and just commented back how much I enjoy cooking for others. I didn't know her at all, so I didn't know to pick up on the condescending tone that was obviously there. Shortly after she moved in, comments started. I'll list them so it's easier to read:
1. She and I would go to the laundromat together, and she would tell me how SHE did his laundry...not drying his pajama bottoms because they'll shrink, adding the laundry soap after the water has begun running into the front loader to prevent discoloration on the clothes etc.
2. She will not let me wash dishes at night after dinner. I tried and she would say "it'll give me something to do tomorrow." I explained that I don't mind and I like to take part, too. I was by the sink getting ready to do them, when she annoyingly sighed after this exchange and then bf said to me "Let mom do them". I left the room crying and very frustrated.
3. We leave the house very early - before 6am. He sometimes forgets to bring things with him (like we all do)...a snack, beverage, whatever so she told me that it would be helpful if I reminded him because he forgets things. She also told me that it would probably be best to make our lunches the night before so that I'm not running late in the morning.
4. One hot summer day, he and I got home and she didn't have any windows open. We didn't have an A/C at the time. She commented that there wasn't a breeze anyway. I opened a window anyway, and sure enough there was enough of a breeze to help the hot staleness. She didn't talk to me for several days after that. When we did get an A/C, we had it on one night and I woke up and it was freezing so I turned it off. She commented the next morning to bf about how hot she got because I turned it off. This past summer, we got home and it was 80 in the house and she didn't have the A/C on, so I turned it on and she got annoyed. In the colder days, it's also a battle to use the heater. We live in a small house and have a propane wall unit that doesn't have a thermostat so we have to turn it on when it gets chilly. She never wants it on and it will be low 60's in the house! Soooo....she wants it warm in the summer and cold in the winter?? I feel like it's more a matter of control than it is the temperature.
5. Our dog is sick right now with mammary cancer. Her tumor is bleeding as we try to aggressively treat it naturally so we have to keep it covered. She will chew the bandage off if given the opportunity so we bought the cone to use on her. I can tell that MIL doesn't want to use it on the dog because every time we would talk about it before I bought it, she wouldn't say a word. Granted, I hate them too, but this is an extreme situation and I keep saying that we can't be held hostage in the house because the dog can't be left alone. So, we have the cone and bf and I have put it on her a couple times to get her used to it. Last night, we had the dog in our room with the cone on and I had to go into the living room for something and I told MIL "Lady's doing well with the cone on. She's relaxing and even eating some treats." I was trying to reassure her. She said nothing to me. When I was walking away she makes a noise "Hmmmm." That's it.
6. MIL wants to do everything. Take care of the house, go grocery shopping. I can't even look in a cupboard for something without her asking "What are you looking for?" Because she wants to tell me where it is. When I answer, she'll get up to come get it and I'll say "That's not necessary, I can get it." I feel like she's more controlling than truly wanting to help. We bought a new vacuum cleaner and she comments to bf and me at dinner "Now it'll be easier for Colleen to clean your bedroom with the new vacuum." As if that's the only room I need to be concerned about because she'll take care of the rest.
She's also a very moody person. We'll get home some nights and she's just miserable. I'm a much more optimistic, positive person and her energy drags me right down and I immediately get bummed out and feel kinda crappy. I have talked to bf about it, but there's not a whole lot that can be done. I've researched a ton online, and I'm trying to make comments and stand up for myself when a situation arrives. It's not easy for me because I dislike confrontation and will often put my own needs aside to maintain peace, but I'm trying to change that.
I feel like MIL lived in the house before I ever did, so it's "her" house and will never be mine. We are going to buy a new house in about 3-4 years, but I'm already stressing about having to stand up to her about how I want things done / decorated. I'm not sure I'll ever truly be the woman of the house. She buys a lot of things for the house and makes comments making me believe that she does so, so she can dictate how they are used. She bought a grill, and bought a pan to go on the grill for foods that might slip through the grate (or so I thought). I was grilling hamburgers and didn't want to use the pan. She commented "That's what we bought it for. We shouldn't have bought it if you weren't going to use it." I like to have food directly on the grill dammit! I can understand using the pan for hotdogs etc. Then she also made comments about how dirty the grill is getting...insinuating that by not using the pan I'm letting drippings get all over the inside. Isn't that what's supposed to happen with a grill??
Okay, I'll stop for now. Breathe.....
Good GOD help me find love and patience for this evil vile woman and please help her be less crazy and childish. Ok so I was in the bathroom when I heard my phone ring but I finish my business. Before I am done washing my hands this crazed obsessive woman texts me. I read it, it says, " I got my patches and from now on when you guys call I won't pick up. So I text her that my husband is still at the gym and I was in the bathroom when she called, I'm sorry I could not make it in time to the phone but I am texting her back now. (Please kindly correct me if my handling of this was wrong and offer kind suggestions but anyway ladies.) She texts my phone probably thinking that my husband was texting her, she says, "Your wife is so nasty, my message was for you." I read it and my mind flares up in anger and I compose myself to be able to speak to her calmly without exploding. I call her and calmly tell her like it is (I am so done with her self appointed high horse, I refuse to grovel and let her walk all over me). I said, "Mrs. Adams (real names will not be used just in case she reads confessions to try to find ways to be the worst mother in law possible) I was not trying to be nasty but was simply stating the truth and also, my husband is still at the gym and I am home by myself right now. Then this crazy woman goes to say, "You know what?! That message wasn't for you!" Still keeping calm I respond repressing my anger and utter disbelief that a grown 50 something year old woman could be so petty, " But it's my phone, you called my phone and texted my phone." Then she angrily says, " You know what?!".....*short pause* She then abruptly hangs up on me instead of trying to talk things out calmly like adults. My husband and I have been married for 2 and 1/2 years known each other in total for about 5 years and slowly her crazy is starting to show and day by day it gets WORSE not better. She is extremely petty and childish. She never admits that she is wrong and whatever my husband or I do for her she is not appreciative of and sometimes forgets it all together. She over exaggerates and constantly takes things ANYONE says the wrong way. She is a woman that if she doesn't like someone she wants everyone in her circle to hate them too. Dear God I pray and pray and pray hoping you will answer. We need help......help me find patience and love for this crazy woman.
Hi there. I don't even know where to begin. I guess at the beginning? I've been with my husband for over 10 years and we have two children together. My in-laws took an instant dislike to me, even before they met me. We've done various stages of cut-off with them over the years, which have always been successful in getting them to behave better. We used to live much further away from them, so back then it was easy to just not pick up the phone...
We made the sorry mistake of moving in temporarily with them when we moved to their country (yes, you read that right). Things had been somewhat on the improve when we made this plan....and so was the economy here. We seemed to arrive as the economy tanked (we had been planning this for 2 years, sold our house and gave away/threw out/sold 99% of our possessions before we moved). What we also did not realize is that my BIL would be living here. We (incorrectly) assumed that since he's away at college, he would...you know....stay there (until the xmas break). We didn't realize that because BIL needs his butt wiped every other weekend by his mummy and daddy, it would mean we would then be 7 people living under one roof.
Seven people under one roof might not be so bad if 2 of those people weren't ignorant. My BIL and his daddy are good ol' boy drinking buddies who feel BIL should never be spoken to for his rude behaviors (I guess I missed the memo that BIL's poo doesn't stink, that he's god's gift to the world and that he should be encouraged and clapped on the back for his cruel and rude behaviors).
Well, you can see the writing on the wall here. I finally had enough of BIL's ignorant behavior, and I finally snapped and told him I didn't appreciate it, didn't want to hear his mouth, etc. Well, daddy dearest came to baby boo-boo's rescue and said that he's taking a side, and that "OBVIOUSLY" (his stressed word, which he used twice for emphasis) he's going to take BIL's side (without even knowing any of the facts leading up to this because, and I know this sounds strange, but I don't go running and whining to my MIL and FIL every time BIL steps out of line (mainly because I'd be running to them constantly lol...and also because I believe 2 people can sort out their own differences - and also because I knew my side would never be respected anyway.)
Well, you can imagine it's made things incredibly tense here in this house. Hubby is still desperately looking for work an hour away from this one-horse town, but as I mentioned the economy has tanked and unemployment is high, so he's competing with lots of other people out there looking for work.
Now we're stuck in a very uncomfortable position, and I've finally lost my ability to suffer in silence, so we're all at a bit of an impasse. I've tried just hiding in my room and not speaking to anyone, but they come bother me in here wanting to hash it out again, and frankly I just want everyone to leave me alone and just let us try to move on in peace (if the darned phone would hurry up and ring with a job offer).
My husband is a very gentle soul. He has spoken in my defense, but his opinion is never respected around here...little baby boo-boo is the only one who gets anyone to listen to him, and naturally they're too busy wiping his butt and clapping him on the back to realize they've created a monster who, at 30 years old, should by now be a decent human being who is capable of treating people decently. BIL's been cheered on by his heavy-drinking father (FIL) because he's also a fan of his drink, he's a womanizer, and an athletic guy (everything that my husband is NOT).
I'm at my wits end, nearly ready to find some kind of crisis center so the kids and I don't have to deal with the crud that goes on in this house...but that would really hurt my husband, and so I've held off on that option. We're exploring every option for housing (even house sitting), but nothing has yet panned out (at least, nothing we can afford without a job). My husband does have unemployment money coming in (this country actually takes care of its unemployed folk to some degree), but it is not enough to pay for an apartment. There is housing and rent assistance, but the gears grind slowly on that front, and we're likely to be another several weeks waiting for that to work out (but yes, we are applying for it, especially now that tensions have risen so high).
I'm just - lost. I'm in a strange country living under the roof of people who never really liked me in the first place, and tensions are very high in our home. I'm having some trouble adapting 100% to the climate and social differences as it is, without their crud adding on to it. Hindsight being 20/20, we would have made other choices in our move if we had known the BIL was going to be here so much...but, here we are.
Just needed a safe place to vent. Clearly, it's not safe to vent here in this house (except to my poor, long-suffering husband, whose heart is breaking over all of this)
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I been with my husband for 3 years married, my mother in-law lives in hawaii and comes to visit in illinois were me and my husband live. when she comes to visit she stays in her own apartment building in which she owns. but now she wants to stay in my house when she comes to visit ..... which is for 3 weeks to 6 months. i already dont get along with her and i don\\\'t want her to stay in my house. im fighting with my husband bc my husband doesnt see a problem with his mother staying with us when she comes to visit. its my house and i don\\\'t feel comfortable with her staying in my house for weeks . i already dont get along with her and im extremly stressed out , im crying every night please help me... my husband says he will divorce me if i dont let his mother stay with us when she visits, i dont want her in same house as me as she is controlling, and makes me cry, . please help me what do i do?
So my husband and I got married young for our generation. I am from another country, another culture. My husband is white Italian, I am Indian from the Carribean. We dated a year and a half and he respected me enough knowing back then I was religious and wanted to wait for marriage. He waited until our wedding night. However, rewind to when we got engaged. His mother told him to live with me first and test the waters sexually to see if he likes it before commiting to me. She went as far as going to my church and talking to our NEW Pastor at the time. Lied at said at the age of 20 I was drinking and partying with my friend\\\'s. Which was a lie. I entered competitions for preaching and singing since age 12 to get scholarships to go to college. I could have gotten a full scholarship, just needed the Pastor to sign and recommend me...instead through her talking to him, he wouldn\\\'t do it and I basically lost my scholarships and all the hard work I put into it. She didn\\\'t care, all she cared about was breaking up her son and I.
We went through with our marriage at the age of 21 and he was 20. For his age, he was extremely mature and hard working, for our generation to find someone like that is a gift.
After we got married, I got pregnant 6 months later and was so sick I had to be hospitalized numerous times. We ended up having to move in with my in laws since I couldn\\\'t work and almost lost my life in the process. My mother in law said my pregnancy was to trap her son and said the baby was a huge mistake. The entire pregnancy while I was sick, she was encouraging her son to cheat. She said to him \\\'\\\'just because you are on a diet doesn\\\'t mean you can\\\'t sample what\\\'s on the menu\\\". Her way of saying just because you are married doesn\\\'t mean you can\\\'t cheat.
Fast forward 5years of marriage, 2 babies (their only grandbabies since my sister in law doesn\\\'t want kids). Five years of continuous strife with them, stalking, even at times his mother pushed me. Lies, false accusations. We ended up staying with them over the summer time until we found a bigger apt and they started teaching our 3year old to call my MIL \\\"white grandma\\\" and my mother \\\"brown grandma\\\" She and another family member told my child, at my own bday party, \\\"mommy has a green face\\\" \\\"mommy doesn\\\'t love you\\\" \\\'\\\'brown grand doesn\\\'t love you\\\" \\\"white grandma doesn\\\'t want baby brother because he is brown like mommy\\\"...amongst other very nasty things. I got into a huge arguement with them and we ended up moving out to stay at my moms, they believe that the last 6 weeks that my husband and I are getting a divorce. They have even bribed him with money, bought stuff for his \\\'\\\'apt\\\'\\\', written numerous letters and texts as to why I shouldn\\\'t have my children and why THEY should have custody and I should not have my children in my life. His mother even made a police report with false information about me. They are encouraging my husband to \\\'\\\'live it up\\\'\\\' with a girl from his culture.
At this point, I am fed up with them and I could care less if they even see us ever again. They will be in for a rude awakening when they find out we are still happily married. My husband and I are best friends and we adore our children! They are happy healthy kids who mean the world!
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My mother in law is the most selfish, manipulative piece of work I\'ve ever met. She does not want any of her 4 kids to be married. She is pissed whenever they get married. She just wants them all to herself forever. She does not like me because I am a different religion than her. Even though they are similar and both christian. She hangs up the phone on my husband if he is not telling her everything she wants to hear or if she doesn\'t get her way. She didn\'t show up to our son\'s birthday party because she was mad at us. She threatened not to come to our wedding because it was in my church. Also, when she did show up she wore black. She told the rest of the family how often my husband and I have sex (which my husband had told her). We live in a small town so I was furious when this got back to me at work. A coworker knew how often we do that. I am sick of my husband not nipping this in the bud. She drives him nuts also, he is just so afraid of her. He is afraid to come to church with me because he said he\'s afraid someone in town will tell her they saw him there with me. We don\'t ask her to babysit anymore cuz she hangs it over our head. When I was pregnant she wouldn\'t say hello back to my husband because we were not doctoring at the clinic that she wanted us to.
My name is Donna. My boyfriend (Derek) and I have a 1 year old daughter. She was unplanned. He\'s 25 and i\'m 29. Him and I both are living with my parents because we both have low income jobs. He works full time making $10/hour, I work full time making $14/hour.
My boyfriend and I are not married. Probably because of his mother. His mother is very annoying to me. Her name is Kimberly.
Kimberly does not have a good marriage with her husband (Rick). Her husband drinks and her other son (Brendan) smokes weed. Brendan is 19 years old and he gets spoiled by his parents. He doesn\'t have a job and still depends on his mom to take care of him.
When Derek told his parents that I\'m pregnant and that we needed their support, his mother was like \"you\'re on your own.\" Basically, his parents did not want to help him find a better job or help him go back to school or help him out in any way. And Derek has a low income job, he cannot support his me and my daughter on his own. And so i have no choice but to work full time and put my daughter into daycare.
When I gave birth to my daughter, I had this bad feeling about Kimberly. My motherly instincts tells me not to trust this lady. I barely knew this lady. And Kimberly just got all excited and was impatient about bringing my daughter back to her house. And I told my boyfriend that I was not ready for that. He did not defend me. He was only thinking about his mother\'s wants. He did not realize how uncomfortable that would make me feel. And I hated him for that. And i hated his mother for that as well. She did not think twice before taking my daughter away from me, and she was only 1 month old and I was breastfeeding.
Kimberly tried to make up excuses to get me to let her have the baby at her house. But I was uncomfortable about it. Especially the fact that my boyfriend and I are struggling financially to support our own daughter and his parents do not want to help him out. And I had to financially support my own kid more than my boyfriend because i make more and i work full time. I wish i didn\'t had to work so that I can be with my daughter more. I did not want my daughter to be raised by Kimberly. I was uncomfortable about that.
Derek needs to stop being a mama\'s boy. And Kimberly needs to back off! it\'s not her kid although she thinks it is. Derek should have defend me against his mother.
I have a feeling that Kimberly only cares about herself and her grandchild. She doesn\'t care if me and Derek do not work out. She doesn\'t care if our relationship is unhappy. Kimberly recently told her son, \"why do you stay with such a bitch!\" all because she couldn\'t get what she wants which is doing whatever she wants with my daughter and taking advantage of the opportunity. I do not respect this woman who does not respect my wishes and does not respect my boundaries!
My boyfriend needs to stop being a <i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i><i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i><i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i><i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i><i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i> or a whimp towards his mother. I see that his mother suffers from depression and is negative and puts her son down all the time. She\'s not emotionally supportive towards her son because she\'s not getting what she wants. Derek has problems confronting his mother and standing up to her. His mother threatens him that if she doesn\'t get what she wants which is to see my daughter whenever she wants, she would not give him his pain medicine for his back.
And I ask Derek, \"Why do you continue putting up with your mom?\" I don\'t understand.