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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

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My mother in law sucks. We just moved in with her about three weeks ago. I'm pregnant with my first child. And, our plan was to stay here for a while and save money.

She's under stress and has some emotional issues. I understand these things about her but, I still don't feel like there's any excuse for her behavior. To make a long story short she's rude as hell. For lack of a better word, she's ghetto. She's got a gambling problem and smokes cigarettes. She knows why we came here and agreed to help us get on our feet with a new baby on the way.

Once we get here, she's asking for money. Okay that's fine. We do live with you and it's only right to contribute. But then we start to understand just how much of her money goes to bingo when first, the cable gets cut off. Then, the lights are cut off (she did pay the same day so they were only off a few hours but I just don't understand why she's letting them get cut off in the first place?). She's very irresponsible and her priorities are all messed up.

Her brother lives with her. He is disabled and she gets a check for him. Still, she was constantly ask us to buy him food. Her car is leaking GASOLINE. I can't even go in the garage because it smells like gas and I doubt that's safe for baby so I park outside of it. Yet, she brags a bout making $4,000 a month. Hm. I actually don't doubt she makes close to that. She's a RN. But, she's got a gambling problem. She's making a habit out of asking for money, beer, food, rides to work at 5 am (because now her car is overheating as well), and feeding her brother. I get food stamps. She's asked me to buy food. Okay sure, that's fair. I buy food.

Now what pisses me off is this..

She recently asked me to put a house in my name because she's in bankruptcy. And she's basically getting evicted (didn't tell us this. my mans older brother let us know she's behind on rent and has to be out by a certain date). She gives us BA stories about why she can't get a place in her own name without realizing her older son has already ratted her out and warned me against getting anything in my name for her. He has three kids and has an eviction on his name thanks to her. I told her I wasn't comfortable with doing that. She said I need to grow up. I heard her on the phone saying how people need to "grow up" (people being me and my man) and how people are so worried about their credit when they could just deal with whatever happens as long as we have somewhere to stay. She says "I'm in bankruptcy. I deal with it I still make things happen and I get by. People need to realize you just have to do what you have to do." Billshit lady. I care about my credit and would like to avoid any hardship at all. She catches me alone on the kitchen and the pressures on. She starts to tell me how I must not trust her enough and that's fine she'll find a place with or without me but we may have to leave. Being passive aggressive and manipulative. She tries to back me into a corner. She's a bully and seriously has mental issues.

Need I remind you, I'm pregnant with my first child. She's constantly asking for money. I don't understand why she's be asking us. We're trying to save and already give her rent, feed ourselves, and buy our own things. Everything down to our own toilet paper and soap. She asks us to drive her brother to/from dialysis. And has never said thank you or offered us any help.

We don't ask her for a DIME. That's not my style and we just don't need her help other than a roof over our head for the moment.

So, this is the best part. When she is bored and were out and about enjoying ourselves.. When she has no car or money to go gamble she just aims and shoots. She picks fights. She'll tell us how nobody helps her. So we remind her (in a very respectful reasonable manner) of all of the ways we actually do try and help.. She starts to tell us how she doesn't need anything from us. How disrespectful we are and how she can just get a place for her. Basically letting us know we can just leave.

Im a very respectful person. I'm fair and reasonable. Believe me when I tell you, she's batshit crazy. She's a con artist. She manipulative and conniving. I feel so uncomfortable here. I don't want to separate from my man. I will have to if I go stay with my mom. She's only for an apartment with my two sisters living there already. I can't come with my man and our dog and a baby on the way. This is the only place there's room for is. She knows that. And is taking full advantage of our desperation. It's driving me crazy and causing me so much stress... Of course whenever I try to talk to her in a mature respectful manner she takes anything I say up the <i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i><i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i><i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i>. And twist my words. Knowing she's full of <i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i><i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i><i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i><i class="fa fa-asterisk filtered"></i>. Knowing I'm so respectful. She's disrespected me plenty times. I can't even speak up or she throws a fit about how she won't be &quot;disrespected in her house&quot;. It's ridiculous.


I hope you realize you're committing welfare fraud by buying food for your MIL with your food stamps. You have to add her to your welfare case if you purchase and prepare food together. If she makes as much as you say she does, gambling or not, you'd never qualify for that. If the state you live in catches you, you'd be a lot of trouble. If I knew what state you lived in, I'd report you.

Anonymous commented 12 months ago

I sincerely hope you aren't considering signing for a house for her! Look, she got herself into this mess. She makes good enough money, she can get herself out of it. I've also seen people get a house after bankruptcy, so all is not lost and if she works at it, she will be fine...of course, if she can stop wasting her money on other things. Get thee out of that house as soon as you can. Might I recommend several towns over??

cat commented 1 year ago

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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!