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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

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I met my other half in 2011 and we became official in 2013. Prior to that I had met his mother once for her 50th birthday party. I found out I was pregnant in December 2013 and we were both extremely happy.
We decided to tell our families before feeling the news to everyone on Facebook . I noticed he was uneasy about it . He went to her house where she lives with her boyfriend and said everything was good . The next day we receive a phone call. She had invited us for dinner... we get there and I can feel tension ... not long after she is screaming and crying she is not ready to be a grandma. She even asked us if an abortion was an option. My other half, then tell us the baby wasn't planned. What?! He was planned ... I don't get why he is saying that...
I felt really disrespected and when we got home we had our first argument.
This lady had spoiled my happy new and my other half didn't stood up to his mother
We had my incidents throughout my pregnancy and when I gave birth I was feeling really low.
After the birth of my son I decided to carry on going to university ( I was 30 and a mature student) and my mom flew over to stay with us for a moth for support. The day my mom was due to arrive I had lectures and before leaving I asked my other half to tidy up a bit. I asked this because I knew my mom would start cleaning the house the minute she walked in and I didn't want that as she is in remission from having cancer.
I get home that evening and the house is chaos. His mom is sitting next to him ... she had been there the whole day. I asked him why the house was like that? His mother get up slams my door and leaves.
Later on I text her to see if she is ok as I didn't want any more issues with her. She replied saying that I have a terrible relationship with my other half.
I was very upset and replied, that I was sorry she felt that way but that I was very happy. She never said anything back for a month, but then other half's brother came over and started saying that mom was heartbroken we didn't let her bond with our baby???
From then there have been many many incidents ... she constantly texts abuse , criticises the way we raise our children and my other half only tell me to ignore it. Then Christmas came and I wasn't allowed to go so he took our 2 children ( we had a baby girl aswell) and I spend it alone. He never sticks up for me . Things have gotten so bad that she started a smear campaign against me and now everyone stopped talking to us... my other half argues with me everytime she complains, because she is upset. I have now been diagnosed with anxiety disorder and I know it's this 3.5 years of hell . Feel hurt, upset, angry at my other half for always defending his mother and now I just want to break up with him and run far away from here.

There is no way children should be kept from their mother at Christmas. Never let that happen again. I would be considering divorce and insisting upon counselling. What he did was emotionally abusive to both you and your children.

Opal commented 1 year ago

Yeah, you have a problem with both your MIL and your partner. I'd take off, if I were you (take the kids with you). Get a lawyer first, though, to ensure you do it properly. You can often find lawyers who will consult for free. He sounds as bad as his family. You should NOT be excluded from Christmas. That's utterly ridiculous, and more ridiculous that your partner allows it.

Cat commented 1 year ago

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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!