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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

If you are looking for a place to find support, seek advice, laugh a bit, and maybe resolve your mother-in-law issues, look no further!
At Mother-in-Law Hell you can swap MIL stories, give & get advice, and so much more. Join the Daughters-in-Law Sisterhood!
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Im so happy to find this site!! I have to tell you all, my MIL aka Hitler, is hands down, the absolute meanest woman on our planet. After some intense research, Ive discovered she is what's known as a Narcisstic Parent (oh lucky me). The relationship between her & my husband is what I call, borderline obsessive. She guilt manipulates him & has this undeniable control over him. Its the most awful thing ever. Ive tried explaining to him everything Ive discovered about her, he takes some of it in but due to how conditioned he is, he literally tunes most of it out. I REFUSED for her ro even know we were getting married, much less know the date of the wedding. No no nooooo. Wasnt happening. She has raked me over the coals with everything from how my husband & I met to how I parent my son, to making fun of me over an infedility on the part of my husband, tht happened prior to us moving in together...she even made fun of my engagement ring, comparing it to one of his fiancees from over 10 yrs ago.
My MIL is pure evil, narcissistic, cant cut the cord, manipulative, passive aggressive, plays the victim, turns EVERYTHING around to be my fault, calls me horrible names,she undermines his parental authority, has horrible melt downs when things dont go her way, never ever takes accountability for her actions (cos she never does anything wrong) Ive never been so abused by another human being. Weve been together 2.5 yrs, married 1yr 4 mo. Ive tried everything I can possibly think of to help free my husband of her, as a last resort were in therapy. I tell my husband...In no way, upon marrying you, did I sign up for a marriage like this. I am miserable. He never defends me, stops her abuse or stands by my side...all because he feels compelled to be loyal to her...his excuse is coz his father passed away wen my husband was in his early 20's, he has regrets & states he's not gna have regrets over his momma....I am so ready to walk it just makes me wanna puke. If therapy doesnt work for us, a divorce is enivetable...I can not & will not live this way...I deserve better.

I can relate to both of you above. It's a terrible unending battle and the best way to deal with it is to slowly cut her off completely. My MIL has hurt me to the core, and when I try to share how she has hurt my feelings, she tells me I'm insecure and "juvenile" for feeling hurt. My husband has stuck up for me once, and she convinced him that it was my "paranoia" of feeling attacked and not her insulting comments that are the issue. Manipulation is her tool and once we are gone, I'm never looking back.

JustAGirl commented 12 months ago

I feel your pain. So much of what you wrote is the same for me. My MIL is an obsessive, manipulative, self absorbed, controlling, snobby and a bully. She pesters my husband for attention non-stop and is constantly guilt tripping him. His dad died too when he was 22, and he’s very protective of her. We’ve had so many fall outs and near break ups because of her, and have had counselling. It’s been pretty clear from what counsellors day, she is a narcissist, but somehow I still often get the blame as I lose my temper with her foul behaviour.
I don’t know what to say really, I keep hoping my husband will put her in her place, and he’s made some moves in that direction. It’s so hard when you build a life with someone and it’s being wrecked by someone you should both love. My advice would be to see her as little as possible. Women like this won’t change sadly, they think hey are perfect and incapable of self reflection. Maybe explain, calmly, to your partner that to make it work, you need less time together. It’s just damage limitation.... good luck xxx

Pria commented 1 year ago

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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!