My struggle with my MIL stems from her own loveless marriage (more like a partnership). My FIL to begin with is a huge struggle- verbally abusive to me and treats my MIL very coldly. He is completely emotionally detached and has some pretty significant mental issues. I would be incredibly remiss if I didn't share that my MIL (perhaps understandably, yet still unfortunately to my hubby and I) attaches herself too closely to my husband in what can only be assumed as an attempt to compensate for the lack of affection / emotional connection with with her jerk of a husband. It's driving my husband and I crazy. She is in constant competition with me, who I guess she sees as the woman who "took" him away? My SIL even struggled with her inability to keep healthy boundaries with my husband from what I believe to be the same compensation for affection due to her emotionally deficient father.
Things just got worse once our daughter was born. Now she's not only fighting still for the role as #1 woman in my husband's life, but suddenly she's an immeasurably better mother than I am!??? My rules for my child are disregarded. Anything I ask of her with regard to my daughter is received with nothing but resentment. One year, my husband innocently gave me a Mothers Day card that said "best Mother ever" and she actually had an issue with the card and legitimately got upset. She texts my husband saying awful things about his wife. We've tried everything with her- I tried talking openly with her and she cannot communicate- only gets defensive. One time, I called her up and I wanted to know what was wrong (genuinely, I did) and instead of being honest with me about her feelings, she just took a low blow and referenced one morning when my daughter was up super early and I was still waking up and actually accused me of not feeding my own child. Amazingly, she and everybody else wonders why we have kept our child away from her! One time I saw a text message to my husband from her actually saying that I was "wicked" and that our daughter "needs" her as if to imply that my husband and I need her amazing assistance?
My husband and I are exhausted. We cannot allow my MIL to see our daughter anymore until she gets some counseling, but she sneers at the idea. There is nothing wrong with counseling. She thinks she is too good for it.
This woman goes to church every Sunday, but behind closed doors is a selfish, manipulative, and judge mental prude. She is so selfish that she is willing to put her grandchild's well-being second to her pride. Case in point, she takes huge issues with any gift (kindle from my parents, Gymborre gym membership, private Christian school) because she's in constant competition not only with me but with my parents as well. She would actively limit my child's education potential because it wasn't a gift from her. My parents may have more money, but she doesn't always have to pout in the corner or (even worse) attempt to limit my child's potential because she can't afford to do the same thing. Side note, my daughter is not even 3 and can count to 12 and knows all of her ABC's. Wanna know how? Through the Kindle that my MIL openly disapproved of on Christmas Day. Will it ever get better? She's a nightmare.