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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

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MIL has 3 sons and I snagged the eldest; her golden haired boy. FIL is a mine worker so he is away from home quite a lot. She is desperate to hold on to her "baby boys" and was devistated that one got away. So much devistated that she relocated the whole family 6000kms when we moved for work so she was still I close to her son. They moved into the next street, 250m from door to door.
Sons and number 2 and 3 don't (and have never) worked, don't drive, have never moved out of home or contributed to society in any way. They are 27 and 30.
Now all of this is not really my issue, the problem arises for me when MIL opens her mouth. She tells my children that she is taking them to breakfast/ movies/ festivals etc without consulting me then just cancels at the last moment for no apparent reason! Then she constantly compares my daughter to deadbeat son #2, even suggesting that people would think she was his daughter not my partners!
Why did I say partner not husband? Because she is made such a fuss about our idea of a wedding that we scrapped the plan all together. I told my partner that I wasn't interested in sharing a last name with her anyway. We would elope but I think my parents deserve to be there to see their only daughter marry, and I can't tell my partner his parents on the afforded the same privilege. So everyone misses out.

I second keep moving. The invitation to a wedding should only be given to those whose support the happiness of the couple. Mil can pound sand.

Chantilly commented 2 years ago

I take it you're in the same country as I, judging by the inclusion of meters and mines. Greetings from a fellow countrywoman (although I'm an expat visitor). Firstly, let me tell you that I can TOTALLY appreciate everything you've said here! My husband's youngest is also useless and my in-laws unreliable. The best thing we did was move a bit further away. Could you try for another hour away from them? They can't keep moving, can they? Otherwise, you've gotta lessen their exposure to your kids somehow, and get your partner to back you up on setting some boundaries. Good luck!

Cat commented 2 years ago

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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!