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Daughters in Law... don’t suffer in silence!

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Open Letter To My IL's... (and thank you to the rest of you for allowing me to just vent this here)...

Did either of you honestly think that we would want to rent your run-down, insect ridden, stone-age-internet (in that particular borough) rental property that YOU own just to save $100 a month? There is no price that can be placed on the piece of mind that comes from telling you 'No Thanks, I think we'll avoid dealing with you even more deeply, opening up even more opportunities for arguments and discomfort not to mention allowing you all open access to our living space'.

You cannot even look me directly in the eyes and barely have 4 words for me (in-between saying passive-aggressive comments and jabs about myself, my children, and my husband). Why would I want to rent from someone who loathes the very air I breathe? Does that even make sense to anyone?? Oh, wait, I forgot: you didn't want your rental property to continue to stay empty, and in your heart-of-hearts (or whatever it is you call that dark pit in your chest) you know we are clean and responsible (I'm sure you'd never say any of that outloud, however, as that goes against the narrative you enjoy telling yourselves and anyone in the extended family who will listen to you.)

Congratulations, that offer caused DH and I to argue for a good 30 minutes (until we reminded ourselves how stupid it is that we allow ourselves to argue over such pathetic people). For a moment there, you reduced my husband right back to that little 7 y.o. boy who was afraid of making his mummy and daddy upset. Just like always, I had to be the one to remind my DH that he is, in fact, a grown man. I had to remind him that taking a sub-par apartment along with having more of a stressful connection to his family was a terrible, terrible idea...one that we couldn't just sweep under the rug because mummy and daddy want their rental property filled. We aren't responsible for their rental success.

I am still dealing with the fact that DH is too afraid of you two to make the simple request of a 24 hour notice before you drive 1.5 hours to our city to visit. I know of at least 3 occassions where you had to make those plans ahead of time as you had other obligations in the city....so, you know, try a little courtesy where we are concerned and do not think you can just pop by whenever you want. It causes me to scramble to get out of the house before you arrive (because I am trying to go 80% NC, which means bdays and holidays only, honey). If you don't learn the courtesy of 24 hr notice, you'll discover my children also not here as well when you arrive. Don't believe me? Try me. Learn some courtesy. If my DH is too scared to make it more clear to you, I'm happy to do so in a much less tactful way than he would manage.

Lastly, my final thoughts for today include thumbing my nose at you another moment. After being literally ignored at Easter and my kids only receiving about 4 words from their grandfather, you have the nerve to ask if I want you to purchase us all tickets to a live children's event. Ummmm, no. Oh, don't get me wrong...I plan to go with the kids - without you. Oh, don't worry, I made sure to purchase tickets for the session that only had 4 tickets left.

If you want to spend (supervised) time with my kids - you'll learn to do it with the courtesy of a 24 hour notice and in a manner that ensures I don't have to look at your pinchy face and see your grumpy husband glaring at me from across the room. If you cannot figure out how to do that, you'll find your access to my children much more restricted.

What....you thought that seeing my daughter with mosquito welts all up and down her legs was something OK to ignore? You thought it was OK to throw your heads back and howl when I had my DH ask you politely to keep screen windows and doors closed so that my daughter (and I) didn't keep waking up in the morning covered in mosquito bites (and risking snakes slithering into the house as well)? Then you thought it was OK that your youngest son called my autistic daughter 'retarded' and then joked openly at the dinner table about her speech issues? Oh, and when that upset me, *I* was the bad guy?

You thought it was OK to tell my 6 yo daughter that she had gotten 'fat' in the 2 weeks since you last saw her (which was total BS as she's a very tiny girl, but even if she had gained some weight, it wouldn't be your place to point it out to her)??

So, let me get this straight - you refused to protect (or even care about the safety and mental/physical well-being of) your grandchildren (who you proclaim to love), and then think you can have access to them whenever you want? You're lucky I even let you anywhere near them. Just because my DH is too afraid of you to stand up to you more often, *I* am not. You've got only a couple of years to enjoy our proximity before we move thousands of miles away from you again. Don't think I won't give you the international symbol for 'hello' from 20,000 feet in the air as we leave.

You poked the mama bear one to many times, and now you'll reap the karma of all of that.


YAS! Just...YAS! You go girl!

Right there with you! commented 1 year ago

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daughters in law, don’t suffer in silence!